Healthy modeling...

On the night of Mother's Day I have been doing a bit of personal reflection. I remember a sign my mum used to have in her kitchen that read "A mother holds her children's hands for a little while but holds their hearts forever". How true is that?

Our little ones are only little for such a short period of time. Before we know it they are off to parties with friends, have part-time jobs and don't really want to be seen too much with mum....it's a bit 'uncool' isn't it?!

However, I know that even when I went through those times, the words of my mum and the things she taught me were (and still are) in my mind but also in my heart. Even now, with mum having been gone for almost 10 years, those early days with her were so crucial to the values that I maintain to this day.

So it brings me to question, what kind of healthy behaviours and values are we instilling in our children? Are we setting them up for a lifetime of fantastic health? Or are we showing them that because life is so busy and so stressful we cannot afford the time to eat well, exercise and invest time in our health?

In times when it is so easy to become overwhelmed with the acute busyness of 'life' it is too easy to take the 'drive through' option, the 'supermarket snack pack' option or the 'pie shop drop'. How many children now accept this is part of their daily routine?

Tell me, how many of you out there think "That's OK, they won't eat like this when they get older. It is just because we are really busy." What makes us think that when the children get older their habits will magically change? If we are continually modeling this kind of behaviour today, all it says to our kids is that this kind of behaviour is OK...for life!

I know that most of us try so hard to do a great job at parenting. We take the kids to activities, parties, schools, playgroup and preschool. We read them stories, play soccer, build cubby houses and give them magic kisses when they are hurt or sad. We sacrifice a lot for our children and rightly so as we made the decision to become parents. However, we don't need to sacrifice our values around our health. It is the values that we model today, tomorrow and next week that will have the greatest impact on the future health of our children.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mum's out there!

emit your life!

What's really important?

Wow time gets away doesn't it?! Yet again I have managed to let the blogging slip, not something that I am proud of, but need to admit to. Funny how it is not only the blogging that has slipped through the cracks in my life at the moment.

Over the past few weeks I have been consistently making mistakes and forgetting things. Why? Because I am a 'yes' person and over committed. Very plain and simple isn't it? And definately not something to be proud of.

Normally this lack of attention to detail and forgetfulness is something that would bother me quite a lot. Not to say that it doesn't, as it does, but just not as much as it used to.

Why? Because I am responsible for the decisions in my life. I have the power, the right, the ability and the option to simply say 'No' to any additional projects or commitments and invest time in the really 'important' things in life.

How easy is it for us to say "Sure, I can do that!" and start bargaining or negotitating with ourselves to figure out a way to do whatever it is we have just committed to? And what is it that gets neglected in this process? Well the 'important' things in life of course....for me that includes family, health, stress levels and overall wellbeing. Now how important are they in the grand scheme of things?!

So how do we put a stop to this cycle? We start practising that dreaded word. The word that all 1 year olds pick up so quickly. Two simple letters N-O. We then acknowledge that we can't do everything and that priorities need to be set. These priorities need to focus on the 'important' things first, rather than the urgent tasks. If we focus on the important things first then the other 'urgent' stuff will come. If we invest in ourselves, our families, our health and wellbeing first and foremost then we will be much better prepared to deal with the more 'urgent' tasks in our lives.

Don't know about you but I need to get prioritising! And NO.....I can't help you with yours!

emit your life!

A rocky road well travelled...

It had been a few hours since I had eaten lunch and I was hungry. As I walked aimlessly through the aisles one of my favorite organic shops I spied it. A beautiful chocolaty brown bar flecked with fluffy pink and white marshmallow, glistening and calling me from the shelf. I moved closer and tempted fate by picking it up. It said 'Gluten Free' Rocky Road. My justification was that surely it couldn't be as bad as 'normal' Rocky Road? I mean yes it had dairy (for those of you who don't know...dairy is my nemesis!) and sugar and fat but it was gluten free...that had to count for something right?!

Standing in the middle of the aisle, the justification continued. I was telling myself all kinds of things. I have eaten so well this week....I have trained at least 4 times....I really deserve a 'treat'!! Before I knew it I was in the car in the carpark ripping open my 'treat'.

Ravenous, I took a huge bite and as that first wave of sugar, fat and chocolaty goodness hit me I was in heaven. SO GOOD! Greedily, I took another bite and before I had even swallowed that mouthful the feeling started. The feeling of....GUILT.

Now I am sure there are a lot of you out there who are empathising (and probably laughing!) at my incident. You know the feeling....that overwhelming sensation of guilt and the self berating that accompanies it. "Damn it, I shouldn't have eaten that. I am so hopeless" or "Why did I do that? I was going so well and now I have ruined everything, may as well blow it well and truly and eat the WHOLE thing!" Sound familiar?!

Well I could have wallowed in this guilt and self berating behaviour for the rest of the afternoon, however the wellness coach within me decided otherwise! Yes, I had eaten half of the rocky road and yes I felt guilty. However that is where I let it stop. I acknowledged my feelings around the situation and accepted this experience as merely an obstacle in my path to optimum wellness. If I am to prevent this kind of thing from happening in the future what can I do about these obstacles?

Let's face it, we would be living in fairy land if we thought there would be no obstacles and our path to optimum wellness would be smooth. It's the obstacles or bumps that challenge us, help us learn and most of all help us develop great strategies to overcome similar obstacles in the future. So here are a couple of my HOT TIPS (or strategies!) for this kind of obstacle:

1. Go shopping on a full stomach - simple but very important. If we are full, our blood sugars are stable so we won't be looking for sugary, salty, nutrient deplete food to snack on.

2. Ask yourself the question "Is this rocky road (or whatever your 'thing' is) REALLY going to assist in nourishing my body and lead me to my vision of optimal wellness?"

3. If you STILL feel like having the rocky road (or whatever your 'thing' is) then just HAVE it. Try to go for a smaller size or halve the amount with a friend. We all know too well that deprivation of our perceived 'joys' in life leads to binging. Eat it, savour it and most of all enjoy it! Recognise the situation as an obstacle and see if you can develop a better strategy for next time.

With Easter just round the corner I am not sure what obstacles may crop up to challenge me! What ever the case I will be well prepared with some strategies to overcome the obstacles....no matter how big!

EMIT your life!
Rhiannon

Bridging the Gap

So just how big is the gap between where you want your life to be and where it is at this moment?

Small? Large? Humongous?! If it is that's ok! No need to freak out! When first asked that question it often evokes a sense of helplessness as we have an immediate inclination to jump to the HOW of the question. HOW are we going to bridge that gap when it seems so huge?!! So before we jump on the HOW bandwagon lets take a few steps back and focus on WHY we want to bridge the gap in the first place.

So, WHY do you want this vision? WHY do you want to change the way you are living at the moment? In my Wellness Coaching practice this kind of question is really powerful and what I like to call a great 'revealer'. It highlights our values and what we are passionate about in life. As soon as we have identified your values, it makes the path to success (yes you will succeed!!) so much easier as we are aligning everything with these values. A very powerful motivator!

Part of my wellness vision is to have a strong relationship with Jimmy based on communication, love, laughter, respect, belief and integrity (I don't ask for much do I?!!). WHY do I want that? Because communication, love, laughter, respect, belief and integrity are some of my key values in life. Not forgetting the importance of role modeling to my children. I really believe it is important for them to be constantly exposed to and part of a relationship based on these values.

When I read this part of my vision each day it stirs up a lot of different emotions. Excitement, fear, nervousness and courage....kind of all mixed in together. I get excited as I know it is possible, I get fearful of potentially failing, I get nervous as I know there is a bit of work involved but I also feel courageous as I know deep down that we CAN do it and create an extraordinary relationship!

So I encourage you all to figure out the WHY. Why do you want it? Once we have that, the first stones in your path to wellness success have been laid!

EMIT your life!!
Rhiannon xx

A time for you!

Well it has certainly been a little longer than the anticipated 1 week between blogs! Many things have been happening on the home front and the work front, but not too much on the social front! This is not a good thing because as women, we need other women around!

From primitive times women have formed communities. We have an inborn desire to group together and share the load of physical work and child care. It has only been since the industrial and technological eras that women have disbanded this natural need and want for community. However, I feel there is change in the air.

In my local area, I often see large communities of women at parks, play centres and swimming pools. Even I seek out my 'community' every Friday (obviously not so frequently lately!). It is a time to enjoy being with others who share similar situations, to express emotion without being judged and to gain insightful tips and tricks from those who have done it before! Why would we not want to be part of such a fabulous gathering?

In my last blog I asked you all to have a think about a vision for your life. In other words, "Who would you be if you were at your best?" Or to put it differently again "What would your life look like if YOU were at your best?" Now, being a Wellness Specialist, I work on these issues personally and professionally regularly, however even I have neglected one part of my vision for my best life. It is that of spending time and connecting with MY community. It is something I have sub consciously let slip and have noticeably missed, particularly the last few weeks. It is something that I have valued but I didn't realise how much until it was actually missing from my life.

This kind of thing can happen in all areas of our lives, particularly with our wellness. We get so consumed with 'surviving' by making sure everything is done and everyone is happy that we forget we are supposed to be 'living' as well. We forget about the things that used to be in our lives and gave us fulfillment. We then get angry, upset, even depressed and wonder why we don't do these things any more.

Well gorgeous gals the time is nigh! Start to put together your vision for your best life EVER. Write it down this time and include on it all of the wonderful things that you used to do and want to do that give you fulfillment. Even give it a date, say 5 years from now. You could start is by saying "My wellness vision for 2015 is...." Then write down all the wonderful things you will be doing for yourself and in your life by that time.

The next question you need to ask yourself is "How big is the gap between where you are now and where you want to be?" Sometimes asking this question may open a can of worms and the vision may seem insurmountable, however don't despair!! We will get there. With the support of YOUR community, it's amazing the things you can achieve!

Until next post.....!

EMIT your life!
Rhiannon

The Hunter and The Gatherer - a primitive tale?

Let me tell you a short story.....

"The Hunter goes fishing. The Hunter catches 4 big fish. The Hunter comes home and shows The Gatherer and The Children 4 big fish. The Gatherer and The Children are impressed at The Hunter's catch. The Hunter stands tall and proud at his ability to provide for his family. The Gatherer collects the tubers, leaves, nuts and seeds to eat along with The Hunter's catch. The Hunter cooks the catch on an open fire. As The Gatherer and The Children are enjoying their food, The Hunter once again revels in his ability to provide for his family. The Hunter and The Children go to bed satisfied, stomach and egos replete. The Gatherer stays awake in order to tidy after the catch and prepare for the new day."

Now you have probably guessed that this is not a 'real' take on primitive life! In fact it is a situation that occurred at our house on the weekend. The main difference being that The Hunter (aka Jimmy) didn't use an open fire to cook the fish, he used the oven and the fish was very nicely seasoned with lemon, chilli and parsley!!

The similarity of our weekend experience to that of primitive times does encourage me to reflect on the roles that men and women play within our families and broader lives. Have we really evolved that much since primitive times?

In most cases the man goes out to work to provide for the family while the woman stays at home to look after the children and everything associated with the house, particularly while the children are very young. It is important for the woman to feel that she is a successful mother, wife, lover, friend, cleaner and cook (have I missed anything?!). However, often whilst trying to achieve in all of these areas, the woman can lose sight of exactly 'WHO' she is and what is important to her as an individual.

Often within my work I see so many women who give everything to their families and even friends. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "As long as everybody is happy, I will be happy!" So I ask you this...is it really your responsibility to make sure that everybody is happy? What about you as a person? Who would YOU be at your absolute best?

It can sometimes be a challenge and a little bit confronting asking these questions as a woman because a lot of our lives are focused on other people, it's The Gatherer within us all. However, I ask you to sit down and really have a think about the questions above, particularly "Who would you be at your best?" and then write down the answer, you may be pleasantly surprised by what comes out!

Enjoy the exploration my fellow gatherers.....till next week when there will be more!

Small steps

Well how easy was that?!

I have been ummm-ing and aaaaaghh-ing over whether or not to start a blog over the last few months. Why? Numerous reasons actually....what exactly would I write about? Do I have enough knowledge to write about the things that I am passionate about at least once a week? What would people think of my posts? And the lists goes on.

Have you ever experienced a situation like that? You give yourself every reason NOT to do things but never enough reasons as to why you SHOULD do things! It's interesting when we dig down and have a look at the REAL reason behind our decisions....or indecision in my case.

So what was my REAL reason for not pursuing the blog a little sooner? Fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of exposure, fear of what it may create, fear of what people think. Isn't it amazing how much we let fear get in the way of what we really want?

So here I am, words on the page, totally exposed for all to see. And guess what?! it feels great! There is still a slight niggle but overall I feel I have recognised the fear so now the only way is up! (That reminds me of a song...The Only way is up, baby, for you and me now!...must be an 80's tune!)

I am not saying that all fear conquering will be as easy as what I have described but sometimes making the small steps in dealing with our fear issues in life help to make the larger ones a whole lot easier.

So....here's to the first of many blogs and to making the small steps in conquering our fears!!

Have a great day and be your best!

Rhiannon